You're still alive, you still have a chance, you can still take actions, what are you waiting for? start again and try again. Don't cry like a helpless little bitch, you have to keep pushing until you can't push no more. It is what it is, it's not going to be easy but what other choice do you have? you can never look for shortcuts, you can never look for a handout. You really have to work for it, grind like hell to see heaven. It ain't over till it's over, no matter how many times you lose you can still try again, you can still do something about your situation, you can still improve it a little bit. So what the hell are you waiting for? just start now and give your very best, do anything you can to improve your situation.