Stop being a garbage, you're acting like a stupid weak that is why you can't get what you want, you have to fight for what you want even if it takes giving your life. Just move now and forget if you will win or fail, just forget about what will happen next and work as hard as you can, as fast as you can without complaining. Over do it, work more, more hours and more reps. The reason why you keep on struggling and being stuck is because you always thought that you're already working hard but the truth is you're only exerting a small amount of effort, you're not even giving your 50 percent, you've only used your 20 percent and you feel tired already, you're always complaining, you always wanted an easy way out that is why you can't make a progress, that is why you keep on losing over and over again. If you want to win you need to push yourself to the limits and see if you have, you have to go the extra mile and never complain, never make excuses and just do what you need to do.
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